Unrelated Work-Related Humor

I am so lucky that my workplace offers many opportunities for amusement.

In the bathroom we have "touchless" everything - the toilet flushes when you stand up, (and sometimes repeatedly when you're just sitting there,) the water turns on when you run your hands under the sink, and the paper towels come out when you wave your hand in front of the beam. I was alone in there the other day, peeing, and out of nowhere a fresh paper towel dispensed itself. Nobody else in there. I'm thinking a rogue air molecule was toying with it.

And then when I was walking out of the ladies' room I noticed on the floor a single square of toilet paper. Seven steps later in front of the Coke machine there were about six more squares, twisted and crumpled at one end, looking like they'd just been removed from someone's shoe. Heh heh.

I spied out in the parking lot a round sign up high on one of the light fixtures with the letters "AP" on it. "How nice," I thought. "They're marking our lots so we can remember where we parked." It is, after all, a huge facility. But coming out of the gym (on the opposite end of the building) I noticed the same sign in THAT parking lot WITH THE SAME "AP" LETTERS. Ha hahaha! What a tease. Yeah, we'll help you find your car after work. Simply memorize the section you're in!

Then there's the woman who sits across from me. She has a vibrating chair cushion. I'll be sitting there talking to customers and all of a sudden I'll hear this hummmmmmmm coming from somewhere and I'll look around, all embarrassed because, you know, what it sounds like.

I told Sydney about it. Here is her response:

"OH that is sooo creep-tastic!!! do you think she's using it for SECRET WORK-RELATED MASTURBATION?!?!?!?!?!"