E-Rejection

I joined up one of those internet matchmaking services day before yesterday. I'm really happy by myself and fulfilled and content and everything, but just a tiny part of me is tired of taking care of everything by myself for so long. That and I'd like there to be some sort of male role model in my children's lives.

I was prepared for all the questions I'd have to answer. I was ready to put myself "out there." But what I wasn't prepared for was immediate and repeated rejection by total strangers! Ouch!

The first guy ended our communications because he couldn't see my picture. Well, it was up there but they have to "approve" it so you don't put anything, you know, lewd. So fine, whatever. So I go to see this guy's picture. AND THERE ISN'T ONE. He wants to see my picture but has elected not to let me see his picture until we know each other better. What a jerk! I'm thinking. Maybe I've dodged a bullet here.

Next guy has answered my questions, sent me his questions, and I'm waiting for him to tell me what he has to have and what he can't stand in a mate. And he drops me. Wants to explore other possibilities. Well, ok. Kinda abrupt, but ok.

Third guy doesn't even answer my questions - he's rejecting me based on reading my personality profile. Now I'm starting to get good and pissed off. I go back to read my profile again to see just what's so unappealing he can't even answer my stupid five questions. I see nothing. I'm really not that bad. Really.

So you might be thinking the perfect thing to make me feel better would be a good tell off. But guess what - the little reply thingy is multiple choice. These are your five choices for a pithy response to each rejection:

1) I have now posted my photo and when it is approved it should be available to you.

2) I have completed all my Match Profile questions.

3) Good luck with your search.

Okay, probably somewhat insincere but you wanna take the high road. Okay.

4) I really felt that we had potential. I'd like you to reconsider.

Now this is begging. You want to get rejected AGAIN?

5) I think if we met, you might have different feelings about who I am.

But, see, he doesn't *want* to meet. What is this going to accomplish?

What we're missing is the response I want to pick:

6) Fuck you asshole. I didn't want to date you anyway.