My helpful phoney

I love to text message. It's so secret and private. And you have total control. It's not like being on the phone, where you have to answer the question immediately. You can read the question and compose your answer at leisure. You can edit and rewrite, and maybe rethink what you want to say. I love it.

One thing, though, is that my cell phone tries to be a little too helpful. It wants to finish words for me. I'm trying to type "complain" and it suggests "computer". Not what I was looking for. I want to type "deter" or "detract" and it suggests "details." Get a vocabulary. It's gotten so normally I just ignore the suggestions because my cell phone rarely can figure out where I'm going.

But today I think it must be ill. Or I've broken it somehow, or accidentally somehow set it to suggest in Swahili. I'm going to type the word "contest." I type "con" and the phone comes back with "n'prss". So the word is "conn'prss", huh? Okay. Anybody know what that means??

Conn'prss, y'all. Yeah.