Ex-husband torture

Today Sydney and I invented a fun game. Here's background: my ex has agreed in our divorce to pay child support until Zachary graduates from high school. But Zachary isn't going to graduate on time. So my ex is planning to get a court order to stop the child support in May even though Zachary will still technically be in school. So I was complaining about the financial hardship this is going to impose.

Me: :o( I need to get a 2nd job. Or something.

Sydney: that sucks! i think you just need to go give dad a swift kick in the balls!

Me: Oh I would so love to do that. Or pull out his curly hairs one by one with tweezers.

Sydney: ok, that was totally one of those laughing and being grossed out at the same time moments! YOU can pull out his hairs one by one, I'LL give him the kick in the balls. good plan, no?

Me: Excellent plan, but we should think of some way for Zachary and Hannah to join in.

Sydney: definitely...they can put pencils in his eyes or something....or shave his head...hmmm

Me: Oh that made me laugh SO HARD. Pencils in his eyes!! Shaving his head does have the advantage of being humiliating, but it wouldn't be painful. I'd maybe want to see somebody apply a binder clip to his nose. Yeah, that would work.

Sydney: yeah, because i guess we don't want to permanently damage his eyeballs, we just want him to be really uncomfortable. WAIT! i've got it! we give him a lot of medication so he passes out, then give him a tattoo!!

Me: What would he hate the most?! We could tattoo his face like a cat. Or huge erect penises on each forearm. Or something anime. Hello Kitty maybe? What do you think?

Sydney: the first thing that came to mind was "butterfly!" or i don't know...a "support the troops/american flag/pro g bush" collage??

Me: A PORTRAIT OF THE PRESIDENT. SURROUNDED BY AMERICAN FLAGS. And I like the butterfly idea.

Sydney: that is a fabulous idea! and the whole thing can be surrounded by butterflies...

Anybody else want in on this??