Creative Spelling

Yesterday I was helping a customer find an agent in her hometown. When I read her the address, she wanted to confirm the spelling.

Me: They are located at 123 Baker Street.

Customer: "That's B-E-A-C-U-R Street?"

Me: ??Um, no. It's B-A-K-E-R.

Hmmm.

She has it WHERE?

Yesterday I had an interesting conversation with a customer. We have to collect the drivers license number of everyone who's going to be covered on the policy so I asked this man for his wife's.

--

Me: And what is Linda's license number?

Customer: Um, I don't know. She has it with her in the bathroom.

Me: [!!!] She has it where? She has it in the bathroom?

Customer: Well, it's in her wallet.

--

Oh yeah! I'm all the time taking my purse with me into the bathroom at home. You never know when someone's going to steal something outta there.

Happy MD

Happy Mother's Day to all you mommies out there. Good job!

Three Stupid Things

I've been on a real streak of stupidity lately. Luckily, I have the advantage of being able to laugh at myself.

1. While cooking dinner the other night and talking with Sydney I noticed that the corn starch I was using was caked solid at the bottom of the can. I was shaking it back and forth to try to loosen it up when Sydney said, "Uh, mom?" I looked down and discovered that I had completely powdered the entire front of my shirt with corn starch.

2. I had too many beers last night and was hungry. There wasn't much to eat in the house because I'm supposed to be on a diet. But I did manage to find and eat a frozen waffle. Right out of the bag. It was slightly freezer-burned.

3. Today at the grocery store I was helping out by putting the bagged groceries into the cart and got so enthusiastic that I started putting the groceries into the cart without the bags.

Ahem

Because my ex-husband is trying to stiff me on the final child support check, I feel compelled to point out to everyone that he has an extremely small penis.

Analogy Man

My friend Ryan is actually a superhero.

He's Analogy Man.

C'mon now, people.

It's so easy NOT to burn the popcorn in the microwave.

Well, I'm probably going to hell anyway...

I know it's ugly to make fun of someone's name, but I'm going to make fun of someone's name.

Whenever I encounter someone with what I consider a funny name, I try to write it on a list I keep with me so I can laugh later.

I think you'll enjoy them so here they are:

--

Deadra Haynes

[DEAD-ra. Hmmm.]

Jamie Schlarb

Jeff Wieberdink

[Weeberdink - heh heh.]

Tanner Hannula

[Tanner Hannula just totally cracks me up for some reason.]

Megan Bublavy

Yandielle Smith

[I think this one is backwards. Isn't it supposed to be Danielle?]

Tracy Coots

Johel Dongo

[Tee hee.]

Jennifer Bleck

[Bleck - that's a feeling, not a name.]

Danna Loud

[And she was. Loud.]

Dinettea Stewart

[Did somebody really name their kid Dinette with an A afterwards??]

--

So that's all my hilarious names for today. There WILL be more!

Um, no.

I spoke with a customer on Friday who had elected to sign his policy forms electronically, online.

He wanted to know if he would need a special pen.