Some problems you can step on

[Contains REAL Investigative Journalism!]

One day several years ago I happened to be looking at the bottom of my foot and noticed a little tiny pit, smaller than the size of a pin head. I was mildly intrigued but soon forgot about it. Over time I checked my foot pit every once and a while and when it started getting bigger I thought to myself, "Why, this must be a plantar wart!"

And so it was. Is.



I've messed with it. I've stuck a pin into it and I've tried to snip it off with nail clippers. I've even gotten one of those home kits and tried to chemically freeze it away. (You'd think it was a little container of nuclear waste the way they've packaged the freezy stuff.) And just the other day it occurred to me that it might be sort of interesting to find out what the hell caused this tiny blight.

The first thing I found out is that, "...standing and walking often causes them to grow into deep layers of the skin." (!!) I don't think I want that. I then found out that they are caused by the Human Papilloma Virus. Yuck. Wondering how I got to be so lucky as to catch this little booger, I read further, "Risk factors include repeated HPV exposure (e.g., walking barefoot in public locker rooms and common bathing areas)." Whoa there, I think we found it! I've always thought my dad was a bit fussy in his insistence in wearing rubber flip flops into the shower but I think he may have been onto something. I'm wondering now if I'll be able to find me some of those to keep in my gym bag, it being the dead of winter...

They are "similar in structure to an iceberg...Often, the portion of the wart under the skin is at least twice as big as the part you can see." Holy shit. I am totally grossed out now.

But here's the best news: "If left untreated, plantar warts can grow up to 1 inch in circumference and may spread into clusters (called mosaic warts)." Mosaic warts! Now that sounds downright artistic. I can't wait to see if I can develop me some mosaic warts.

Now we'll get to the treatment. "Over-the-counter medications contain chemicals that destroy skin cells (e.g., acid) and may damage healthy tissue surrounding the wart. Self-treatment for plantar warts using an over-the-counter preparation is not recommended." Uh oh.

Other professionally administered alternatives include mild acid, laser treatments, cryotherapy, or surgical removal. Heh heh - now I'll bet you're wanting to learn a little bit about...

Prevention: "Avoid walking barefoot whenever possible." (Rats. I love to go barefoot.) Now this one's just insulting - "Change shoes and socks daily." And even worse - "Avoid direct contact with warts on other persons or on other parts of the body." WTF!!?? What on earth would make them think anybody is going to go around touching OTHER PEOPLE'S WARTS??!!

Okay - now I know way more about this than I ever wanted to. What about you?

All information I got came from here:

The Podiatry Channel!! Now that's some television!