Wednesday, February 01, 2006

A typical day on the road




Dogs: Are we walking? Are we walking? ARE WE WALKING?????

Me: C'mon.

[Walk walk walk]

Norma: Oh wow - look. I am totally keeping this yellow napkin.

Me: Drop it, Norma.

Baxter: Sorry man - that was really rank.

Norma: Yeah, she just doesn't get it does she..

[Walk walk walk]

Baxter: Crap - they've filled up the hole!

[Yesterday there were 12in. deep trenches dug around all the utility poles. You know how very interesting a hole can be.]

[Walk walk walk]

Baxter (pooping): Hang on a sec.

Norma: Let's walk off while she's trying to pick it up.

Baxter: Totally!

[Walk walk walk]

Norma (backing up to the chain link fence): Watch this - I'm gonna poop on the other side so she can't get it!

Baxter: You try that every day.

Norma: Yeah, I know, but one of these days it's gonna work. That'll be priceless!

Baxter: OH! OH! OH! Look - dogs!

Norma: Let's get 'em!

[Frenzy ensues as the woman walking the other two dogs has become hopelessly tangled in her tandem leash and cannot get away. I sympathize.]

[Walk walk walk]

Baxter: Wait up!

Me: C'mon, Baxter.

Baxter: But you can totally still smell where the dead pigeon was the other day!

Me (walking): Let's go!

Norma: Sorry, dude.

Baxter: Yeah, she's just no fun.

[Walk walk walk]

Baxter: Look! Kids! Pet me! Pet me! Pet me!

Kids (ignoring Baxter): ...

Baxter: Aw...

Me: Sorry little guy. They have to go to school.

[Walk walk walk]

Norma (approaching the berserk house): There he is! There he is! [circle circle yank] There he is! There he is!

Baxter: Look - he's almost over the fence! [strain strain]

Me (choking up on the leashes to avoid having my arms yanked out of their sockets): C'mon guys.

Construction Workers: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haaaaaa!!! Mire - es la chica estúpida con los perros!! Esos perros andan la chica!!

Me (smiling weakly): ...

[Walk walk walk]

Baxter: Look - here comes that asshole kid on the bike. Let's step in front of him right at the last minute.

Me (pulling the dogs off the sidewalk): Don't even think about it, Baxter.

[We arrive at the back yard gate.]

Norma: Okay - you go this way and I'll go the other way and we'll see if we can get her to fall down.

Me (not falling for it): Are you guys hungry?

Dogs: FOOD! FOOD! FOOD! [Bounce bounce bounce] FOOD! FOOD! FOOD!

Me: I heart you, doggies!

6 Comments:

At 9:54 AM, Blogger HBelle said...

priceless! don't you love it when they gang up on you? also makes you wonder what they do all day while you're gone. i'm certain mine are home having poker parties and doing tequila shots out of the cat bowls...

 
At 10:02 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

And you do this every morning? JK

 
At 11:01 AM, Blogger HBelle said...

hey there JK! it's been a while... isn't my sister FUNNY? han

 
At 12:29 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey there Hbelle! Hope you're well and more great photos are in your future . . .
Holly is an incredible talent, with a true gift for capturing the written word, and painting an amazing picture with them. And funny? U BET!
She's my favorite read, and beats the LA Times hands down...I assure you I don't get my panty liner reviews from any other source! JK

 
At 5:04 PM, Blogger Holly said...

Yes, unless the snooze button doesn't re-alarm me and I sleep too late, I walk the dogs every morning. And they always try to walk off after Baxter poops, and Norma always backs up to the fence to poop and they always go berserk at "the house."

:o)

 
At 9:49 AM, Blogger Holly said...

UPDATE: This morning Norma finally succeeded in pooping through the chain link fence. Sorry, park patrons.

 

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